‘Single Traveling Female on Valentines Day?
Romantic ideas are all buzz all over the internet right now, both in and out the travel community. Countless conversations being had right now in cyberspace sharing excited ideas for the most romantic getaway for that special sweetie, or sharing low-cost sentimental gestures to sweep your partner off their feet, or debating the most romantic places to go… Lovely conversations and I hope all the couples out there, traveling or not, have a wonderful Valentines Day!
What about those of us who are single? I have been single for several years now. When I was living in the sates, it was easy to ignore the day all together or grab a group of my amazing single girl friends and have an AbFab marathon complete with bottomless cosmos.
But not possible now. I am single. I am on the road. I am traveling indefinitely. And I am even a mom.
If this is applies to you too in any combination, no need to get depressed, no need to be down and no need to bury your head in the sand. Romance and love are still a part of my life, I just have to remember they simply aren’t a current manifestation at the moment, AND THAT’S OK!
So, if this is your situation too, I am happy to share with you my list of 8 things a single female can do to feel empowered this day, on the road (or not) to celebrate the most awesome Valentines Day!
First , decide if you want to celebrate this Valentines Day with people or alone. The first 5 are if you prefer to be alone, and the remaining 3 are for those who wish to be surrounded by people. Take any of these ideas, use them in combination with one another, just remember one thing: Have a Super Empowering Valentines Day on the Road of Life!
Single & Solitude on Valentines Day
1. Gratitude List
I’ve always believed in the power of attraction. Putting your attention on the positive will guarantee you will have a positive experience. Decide you will spend the entire evening journaling. Start off by writing a list of all the wonderful things you are grateful for. Really get into it. Reach back into your memories and remember the time when you were 10 and your neighbor bought you a Popsicle from the ice-cream truck, remember and write down how grateful you felt when your family cat came up and cuddled next to you when you had a bad day, remember the amazing experiences that have made you who you are today and be grateful for each and every one or those experiences. Write until you have 100 items you are grateful for. If you think you can’t continue, keep writing. Write until you don’t think there’s another thing you think of, then commit to write just 10 more. I guarantee you will have an amazing Valentines Day.
2. Empowering Movie
Watch that one movie that touches your soul. I travel with so many movies on my hard-drive, but I have one movie that I love, I actually have it on DVD as well as on my hard drive, so when I get the chance, I can watch it a large screen and really enjoy it. We all have that one movie that makes us feel so good, so alive and rich with passion. Come on, we’ve all got one. I can’t believe I’m going to share mine here, but I am. (Warning though, it’s corny.) I absolutely love musicals, and it is not any coincidence I absolutely love a movie about a quirky single mom, in her 40s (or 50s) who lives on a beautiful island, dedicates her life to her child and work and has given up on love for herself, only to find passionate love in the end. Put that empowering story set to cheesy pop music from a Swedish band from the 70’s and you’ve got it. That’s my feel-wonderful movie, and for me, it works every time!
3. Nature Rejuvenates
On Valentines Day, don’t forget to take care of yourself during the day light hours. It’s not just a night-time celebration, after all. Being in nature always has always had a rejuvenating effect on me. If ever I need a lift, a slow walk through a park, time to observe nature, appreciate the birds, the plants trees and flowers always creates perspective me. Sometimes though, I prefer a brisk hike to focus my energies on and lift my spirits. I am certain that will work for you too. Just remember to take time to really appreciate nature and get lost in the magic of it. That’s tapping into some powerful love right there.
4. Romantic Dinner-In for One
Even if you are traveling, you are likely to find some of your favorite things to nosh on, either from the host country you are in, or even some of your favorites from home. Spend an afternoon roaming around the market, putting together a simple meal, selecting some of your favorites and treat yourself! This is the wonderful opportunity to please just yourself. It’s ok if your dinner ends up being a wacky combination of empanadas, peanut butter on apple slices, homemade bruschetta and stir fry with noodles, it doesn’t matter! Then, don’t forget to treat yourself with the most amazing desert especially for you. Today, don’t worry about calories or fat content, this is for you, and only you. Treat yourself because you are worth it!
5.Build a Bear
Now I don’t mean one of those cheesy toy building workshops, I am talking about designing your mate. (Only use this option if you are ready for someone to come into your life, because trust me, it works.) It doesn’t matter if your perfect mate is a man or a woman or a bear for that matter, there’s something wonderful about putting pen to paper and defining the person you desire to come into your life. I just remembered this because there was one time in my life, I actually did this and it worked. This is what I did: I took a piece of paper in my notebook and wrote down everything I wanted in a partner at the time. I wrote down the obvious first, where he was from, what his general features were, what his interests were. I wrote down what his likes and dislikes were. I spent much time describing him as clearly as I could. When I was done with that, I looked at that list, and started a new, more important list. I wrote down all the ways I felt when I was with him. I wrote down the feelings of love I felt, the amazing inspiration he brought me, the wonderful love we shared. I wrote it all down, and guess what, for me, it took about 1 month to meet this man, whom matched my description to a tee… I warn you, be careful what you ask for, because if you truly commit to this process, he’s making his way to you right now!
Single and With Others on Valentines Day
6. Volunteer Your Heart
A great way to feel great about yourself on Valentines Day is volunteering. Connecting to the act of giving, especially when traveling is a great way to express gratitude for your experiences in the countries you visit. Maybe it’s one day working with children, maybe it’s one day volunteering with animals, or maybe it’s one day helping the elderly. If you read this and desire to do this and suddenly feel stress about not arranging a place to formally volunteer, you can still participate informally. Just decide how you want to give back by tapping into what makes you feel good, then take a good look around the community you happen to be in and see what is needed and what you can do. You’ll find an opportunity to play with neighborhood local children, and that’s giving back. I assure you if you look and are open, opportunities will manifest.
7. Meet Up
If you are traveling, you should already be a member of Couch Surfing. If you are not, join right now! Couch Surfing is a great way to connect with locals and other travelers in your host country. It’s not only for finding a place to stay, it’s for arranging meet ups as well. Go to the Couch Surfing community boards and post a notice, saying something like “traveling in your city now, seeking others travelers and locals for a meet up tonight, on Valentines Day”. I guarantee you, you will get many responses, meet some new friends and have a nice time. Just a note though, check the boards carefully to make sure someone else hasn’t done the same thing first, in your current location.
Hostels are a great way to connect with other travelers. If you are staying in a hotel, move to a hostel for the night, at least. Make sure you pick a popular hostel, hopefully one that has a bar attached to it. That way you are among other travelers, (if that makes you feel more comfortable) and you do not exude the “single woman going to bar alone in a foreign country” vibe. You just happen to be there, and there just happens to be a bar connected with the hostel and you just happen to be open to having a fabulous evening with your “Oh, it’s Valentines Day?…. I didn’t even notice” attitude.
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Excellent (and most timely) post! But I must admit – though I’m not presently on the trail – as a 30+ year wanderlust (both solo and with kids), when I’m on the trail I hardly know what MONTH it is, much less the date. Indeed, much less some holiday that’s perpetuated by Hallmark and FTD. So I honestly can’t say I’ve ever even thought of pampering myself on the 14th of February whilst traveling in some far off land (heck, just being able to travel to the many wondrous corners of the globe is pamper enough for me!)nnStill… such holidays surely are worthy of pausing and celebrating in some small way. And though not Valentine’s day, I do have a most lovely travel memory of a different holiday – the 4th of July. I was going to school and living w/ my 2 young daughters (then age 8 and 11 yrs.) in Italy. We’d been on the lam for 7 months by then, and I had no idea it was the anniversary of our country’s independence that particular summer’s morning. I’d been off at an Italian class for an hour, and when I returned to our bitty apartment above the cobbled streets of Perugia – my dear sweet daughters had colored a pillowcase with their crayons – and hung an AMERICAN FLAG from our balcony!
Thank you for the wonderful comment! I have to totally agree with you in terms of the Hallmark / FTD perpetuated holiday, something I try not to buy into. I feel that way about most holidays, actually, but the “pause” as you call it, makes a wonderful reason to honor thyself. All too often, I’ve heard women complain about being single on this holiday and I absolutely love the options it gives me to be nice to myself! nnI adore your story about your kids making the flag! It’s those special moments that make our travels so rich.. I’m smiling ear to ear.. nnWishing you a fabulous day tomorrow, and everyday! n
Ilainie, I just wrote a comment and it ended up in some black hole…nIu00b4m happy I found you, first thorugh a couchsurfing forum and then to your blog.nIu00b4m a single mama traveling with my little one too. And I had a great Valentineu00b4s day at the cabinas Iu00b4m staying in Costa Rica (back in Brazil, where I come from, we donu00b4t celebrate it on February, we have the typical consumerist day in June instead).nnI also love watching Mamma Mia with my daughter! We sing a few songs daily, itu00b4s such a positive movie. I love how the main role is an older woman, a single mom, having a great life in a paradise. Pure sweetness.
Marilla,nThank you so much for the fabulous comment! (and sorry about the black hole) Yay for single traveling mommas! We rock and love that we support each other. I am so glad you are enjoying your travels, hopefully we will meet on the road. That would be fabulous. And maybe we can watch Momma Mia together and have a grand sing-along!!!nnSending you much love. Take care!nlainie
I love your positive attitude to being single, enjoying life and being open to love
Great advice Lainie. You just have such a positive vibe. Hope to see you when you come back
Ah, thank you Elizabeth!
I hope we can hang out again when we return to Lima!!