I am a strong independent woman.

I am a super mom.

I do not need a man to take care of me.

Anything a man can do, I can do equal and in some cases even better.

A man does not, nor will ever complete me.

I enjoy being single, free and independent.

Ok, I’m done with the bullshit.

If you’d like to read a female empowerment story, stop reading now. If you like the idea that I am a power house of strength, a wizard of courage, a happy-by-myself kinda gal, I implore you, click away from this page NOW.

Still here?

My guard is down, and my heart is heavy today. Today I am lonely.

At times I wish I was all of those things stated above. And at times, I am. But not always. At times, I feel vulnerable and terribly, terribly lonely.

At times I would trade all that I have experienced, all that I have seen for a pair of strong arms to wrap around me, my coat of armor, my shield of protection.

A man.

A man who is all that I am not and balances my world. And at times, when I do feel alone, I feel his absence more. And feeling lonely is sometimes painful, and shreds my very presence.

Sometimes. But not always.

But sometimes his absence is felt. But with my lifestyle, my passions, my son, my dreams, is there really room for him? I don’t have the answer, but I wonder if something has to give? Is he there around the corner, wondering where I am?

I don’t know.

I feel from the depths of my heart, my inner most desire, I want him to enter my life. I invite his love and ease into the balance and strength. And for now, I am my own balance, strength, love, support, independence, woman, man, all that I want, all that I am.

I have to be.

And I am.

But not always. But sometimes I am.

Yes, I’m stating it here. I’m not those things I appear to be… always. And as I type these words, I am afraid you will change the idea you might have of me.

But what of that strong independent woman you appear to be, starting down your fears, prancing around the globe, caring and guiding your son, stepping into the unknown? Aren’t you that woman?

Um, yes. I guess I am.

I am strong. Yes, because I am a mom. That’s what we do. We solve problems, we find solutions at whatever the cost, we guide, we rely on our skills to survive, we are there for our kid(s) and many times we don’t know what the heck we are doing. We are strong because we have to.

I am independent because I am single. I have been in some amazing loving relationships in my life, but here we are once again, without a partner, without a man to lean on… and I am middle age. And I am moving through life one day at a time. And some of those days, I am lonely.