Focused on a new adventure!
Sitting on the balcony of our apartment in Panama City, watching the gentle rain fall on the streets below, listening to Peter Gabriel in my headphones, I feel the finality of it all, some how. The sadness is there, as I am invited to reflect.
I have no idea of how many times I’ve said goodbye, how many people I’ve hugged for the last time and how many promises of future meet ups I’ve made since we left on our journey in July 2009. But I feel the pressure of all the hugs on my body now, the wetness on my cheek from all the kisses, the weight of all the promises I must keep. Intellectually I know it’s all part of living goodbyes, part of life on the road and an inherent part of the process to our journey, but it doesn’t make the feeling any lighter.
My brain keeps saying “This is different somehow, somehow it’s more significant,” as I feel the trick of putting a “meaning” to an abstract concept. “Bigger” or “more significant” because we’re leaving Central America and entering South America? Not really sure, and I am so surprised that I feel a loss of leaving that place I’ve come to know, the continent of Central America! Central America is one small chunk of the big picture, but I wonder, is the qualification really important?
I find it fascinating how we quantify, qualify & classify our experiences into an abstract. Time, days, regions, countries and continents. Today is the 553rd day of travel, the 4th day of the 1 year and 6 months on the road and the 8th country we’ve been to. There are too many remarkable experiences that have filled that time and that space, and countless remarkable people that have come into our lives during that duration.
I generally don’t like spending so much time looking back, as the past is a place that keeps me stuck in thought, versus being in the present moment, but it’s an exercise I periodically find myself experiencing. After spending several weeks looking back, with the 500 days in Photos series and my personal “new year” traditions of taking stock in the passing year and creating intentions for the upcoming year, I’m actually emotionally exhausted from all that “looking back”.
Yep, emotionally exhausted.
I said it.
Emotions are my guide post, my indication that I’m on path or off path, and I trust the inspiration they provide. Simply put, if it feels good, feels right, than I trust that. If it doesn’t feel good, or I’m feeling some resistance, than I need to choose something else. Super simple and super reliable. That’s one of those life lessons I’ve learned from this experience, the experience of being in the world and in this case, in Central America.
Today marks my last day of looking back on this chapter Miro and I call our Central American experience and time to look ahead to the South American experience.
And with that, much exhilaration, much excitement and much anticipation.
So Central America……so long and thanks for all the fish!